I want to review what life during Covid has been for me––what has sustained me, inspired me and what has grieved me and made me cry out to God, “Help me to be strong, so I can be of help to this troubled planet.” Yesterday, Sept. 11, I couldn’t write. I meditated, prayed and remembered that day of horror that brought the war home to my city––war, that had always been somewhere else, not America, not New York City, not West End Avenue, my street. I remembered and mourned again with my people, still in disbelief that so many people were killed in a few hours, 2,763 in fact, as three of the World Trade Centers collapsed. But 21 years later I am more aware than ever at how many die every day in the US from famine, poverty, drug overdose, from racist, sexist, LGBTQIA brutality––“Dear God, help me to not be overcome by these thoughts of death.”
Can I learn about survival by revisiting how I’ve handled myself during our war with Covid? (I’m afraid to research how many deaths there have been in the US and Globally at this time.) I will try to dig up my survival tactics. I turned to chanting and prayer to help me, help myself. Help myself sleep through the night, not be beaten down by despair. I want to be strong and hopeful for my own sake and to help others. Tossing and fretting, I sought a way to lay my burdens down, let tension go, relax, focus on the energy and spirit forces in me that connect to the life force all around me. I came up with 3 words to guide me: Faith (that I can be a positive, creative force); Grace (that I can manifest that faith in ways that benefits myself and others); Lightness of Being (that I can show Faith and Grace with a gentle hand, a kind smile, a helpful gesture and a sense of humor.)
Through song, I found a way to embrace these 3 concepts, with pleasing phrases and melodies. So, I was massaging, medicating myself in a way that I could share my struggle with others to survive these past 2 ½ years and move forward. Right now I want to share the words of two songs I composed during this time (among the others I’ve written, mostly about the miracles in nature I experienced in my Riverside Park). Another time I will write about them. The words of Precious Joy and Our Prayer have taught me how to work toward embracing Faith, Grace and Lightness of Being in my life. I hope to record myself, Janet and friends singing these songs with guitar, bass and piano accompaniment.
Precious Joy
Joy, please linger with me longer.
Let me hold you and grow stronger,
With the news I’ve just been given,
From my loved ones, from my loved ones.
They are safe and healing, healing,
Heads are bowed with grateful blessings.
Sunbeams smile on them, dreams keep flowering,
May their eyes shine from tears that are drying.
Let us rest with this gift we’ve been given.
Let us know how to accept this blessing.
Joy please linger with us longer.
May we be mindful and may we be kinder.
May we be mindful and may we be kinder.
Our Prayer
Each breath we make
Each step we take
Leads us grateful in this day,
This beckoning new born day,
This awakening precious day.
Help us make use of the gifts we’ve been given.
May our tears dry so we have clearer vision.
May we lighten the way,
Ease sadness and pain,
Join with all others who feel just the same.
We can overcome hate with actions of Grace,
Justice and Fairness and Kindness create.
We will overcome hate,
We will manifest Grace.
We will overcome hate.
We are part of one another,
We will manifest Grace,
We are part of one another,
We want love,
We need love.
Jeri Hilderley 